Westfield Residents Take Back Their Town!

Another story that I came across…

Angry Westfield residents have decided to do something once and for all about the unruly children that have taken over Mindowaskin Park as well as other iconic landmarks of their beloved town. Starting next Friday night members of the Westfield Evermore Society for Unequivocally Controlling Kids will be placing individuals in Mindowaskin Park and other locations known for adolescent malfeasance. The sentries will be armed with cell phones and cameras in order to catch any children that are committing crimes such as smoking, drinking, reckless skateboarding as well as any other heinous activities too vile to mention.

A Mr. Robert Help has been the most vocal about the offenses and wants to close the park altogether.

In support of Mr. Help, an employee of the Westfield Municipal department has spoken anonymously on the subject and stated, “Those kids are out of control! They hide in the bushes, they share a pack of cigarettes between 15 kids and they overflow the recycle bins with empty beer cans and bottles and they don’t even care that they often put their garbage in the same bins as the recyclables”.

“We simply can’t close the Park because a couple of kids want to be kids.” said Henrietta Tolerenta who grew up in town. “I remember when we were kids and we did the exact same thing. Only, when we got caught, the cops made you pour out your beer and threaten to call your folks if you didn’t scatter all at once which we did and we would go find someplace better to hang out like somebody’s house whose parents were away.”

The Westfield Police Department did not respond to phone calls about the allegations but an officer was seen sleeping in their car near the area where the activities have been occurring in an apparent stake out.

“Given the close proximity of the Police Station to the activity it seems as though it could be better controlled if there was a real need to control it” said one passerby. “The fact that most of the kids are from town and that Westfield has been sued in the past for harassing the children by some of the more prominent parents could be one reason why the police have not acted.”

If the members of the Evermore Society have their way, they are going to post the names and picture of each child they catch on their new website entitled seethembeforecollege.com which is intended to give colleges a real time perspective of the things that their applicants may be doing.

“We’ll have them in court for slander” said one father of a teenager who has had trouble with the Evermore Society in the past. “Just because my child wants to have fun doesn’t mean that some group of do-gooders can hurt their chances of an Ivy League education.”

Another concerned parent has stated that they will be there to offer support to the children by offering them something to eat while they try to get drunk. In their words “Children just need a little guidance. It’s not like they have a bartender to cut them off like adults do. By offering them food we’ll help teach them how to drink more responsibly.”

And so, the debate heats up! Will the ultra conservatives like Mr. Help prevail and see that that the town closes places like Mindowaskin in order to curtail juvenile delinquency?

Or, will the parents of these ultra-coddled, soft and spoiled children continue to let their kids run wild in the streets?

Only time will tell!

A follow up story will be available after Friday night’s surveillance initiative.

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