Caution: Dog Free Zone Ahead

Bad Dog

In traditional Westfield style, a newly emerging controversy is brewing in the local paper, The Westfield Leader.

Is it about property taxes, parking decks, policemen sleeping in their cars while on duty?

No.

It’s about whether or not dogs should be allowed in the downtown area.

On one side we have the overprotective moms who, in between trips to soccer practice, the nail salon and dinner at Echo Lake Country Club, feel as though the civil rights of their infants and toddlers are being jeopardized by overly friendly Golden Retrievers, Chocolate Labradors and so on.

On the other side, we have the aspiring suburban social climbers who feel as though their canine is as much a fashion statement as their Louis Vuitton bag, their convertible Mercedes and their well coiffed hair.

And so the showdown begins at the Westfield Corral.

I can see the headlines now.

“Woman pepper sprays Labrador for eyeing child’s pistachio gelato”

“Man accused of letting dog lick itself in front of impressionable Sun Dance student”

When will it end?

They say that too much money gives people too much time to contemplate things of too little consequence.

If this is true, Westfield people should donate all of their money to a good charity and get real jobs.

May I suggest The Seeing Eye?

One Response to “Caution: Dog Free Zone Ahead”

  1. Amy Jester Says:

    hi john,

    i am a bit upset by your recent blog as i fear i am on the brink of becoming an a*&h$#@. Perhaps i need an intervention before it is too late.

    Ask Kerry about my new mercedes. I’ll bring it by for you to see. It will have to be when I can fit it into my schedule between having my nails done, walking my Laborador Retriever (most dog popular in America) and my (trendy) Basset Hound, and meeting friends at Echo Lake for dinner.

    Also ask Kerry to repeat for you my montra from the infamous golf outing appletinis. I try really hard not to be one.

    xoxo
    Amy J.

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